Arie Luyendyk Jr writes about Monday night’s episode of The Bachelor.
In an exclusive blog for PEOPLE, the season 22 lead talks about his relationship with Lauren Burnham and why he said goodbye to Kendall.
“I was so excited going into my date with Lauren. The day portion of my date with Lauren was great, but also stressful. I was in love with her and had such strong feelings, but she seemed so worried and distant. When she told me she was considering leaving due to the stress, I didn’t know what to do. Thankfully, that night, we were able to talk directly about the problem.
Hearing that she was in her head due to the stress of thinking about me dating other women, but, still, was very much in love with me made all the difference in the world. We were in love, and it felt great that we could both express that.
The rose ceremony that week was incredibly difficult. As much as it pained me, I knew I had to say goodbye to Kendall. Our time together filled my heart with joy, but our connection just wasn’t as strong as the other two.
I’d miss all her facts, the talks of zombie apocalypses, and all the laughs. From kissing under the Eiffel Tower to her seeing her first snowfall, it was a relationship I’d never forget.
I was entering my last chapter as The Bachelor with two amazing, beautiful, intelligent women … and had no idea how I was going to figure out who I’d propose to. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any harder … I was about to enter the most intense chapter yet”