“Arriving in St. Thomas was like a tropical dream. he weather was unbelievable, the locals were awesome and picking up my date in town via seaplane wasn’t too shabby either.
I woke up the morning of the group date on such a high from my one-on-one with Kristina. I felt like this week had started out perfectly, what could go wrong? Being so many weeks in, of course it is no secret that time becomes more and more valuable. The tension that comes with group dates gets stronger, and people start to get anxious.
Now, let’s talk about Jasmine. Jasmine is a woman I was intrigued by since the first night we met. She is beautiful, outgoing and knows exactly what she wants. But throughout the journey I felt like she had been questioning herself and letting the environment into her head. I know how this world can be intimidating and can make you doubt yourself. I think that Jasmine was just forcing something that wasn’t coming naturally. I enjoyed her company, her wit and energy, but there was an emotional connection that wasn’t clicking. Once Jasmine told me how she felt, I knew I didn’t and wouldn’t feel the same in return.
As if you thought one would be enough, I decided to have another two-on-one. The week in St. Thomas was already off to a mixed start, and even though we were about half way into the journey, I was thinking only about the future. While my two-on-one with Corinne and Taylor was totally different, I still felt like what I got out of the date was beneficial. I went into this date hoping to get the same gut feeling that guided me the last time. My thought process was, If I don’t see a strong connection now, then what can I build off of? I hadn’t had a one-on-one with Whitney yet, but I felt like a two-on-one would give us more time to see what was there between us. There had always been a spark, but I went into the date hoping it could grow into a bigger flame. Unfortunately, that just didn’t happen.
Whitney is a beautiful and kind person, but we just weren’t right for one another. Saying goodbye felt terrible. I know this is all a part of the process, but I had started to feel like I wasn’t connecting with anyone. Although saying goodbye to Whitney was hard, I still had Danielle. Danielle and I had a great one on one back in Wisconsin, but since then I felt like we lost some of our momentum. I felt good about the time we shared on the beach, but I felt like I wasn’t ready to hand out a rose yet. I decided that evening for us would be make or break.
Sitting with Danielle that evening, I can’t really put my finger on what felt off, but I just didn’t feel the same confidence as I did in Wisconsin. I had seen myself going to Danielle’s hometown, and maybe even further, but over the weeks that followed Wisconsin that started to slip away. I saw this evening as an opportunity to get back on track. It wasn’t until Danielle told me she loved me that I knew I couldn’t say the words back. I felt instantly heartbroken. Heartbroken over hurting this woman who allowed herself to be vulnerable … heartbroken because I had felt so confident a week prior.
Saying goodbye was very emotional for me. I was sad to see Danielle go, but I also felt a sense of doubt. Doubt that this might not actually work for me in the end. I decided to go talk to the women. I needed to be honest about where my head was. I owed it to them.”
“Tune in next week to see what I decide to do. I think you’ll all be a little shocked with the surprising decision I make … I know the women were. “
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