Colton Underwood has come out as gay in an interview with Good Morning America.
The former NFL player, who appeared on the season 23rd of The Bachelor, sat down with Robin Roberts on April 14 for a personal interview.
In a conversation with Roberts, Colton revealed that last year had made him reflect on his personal life.
“Obviously this year has been a lot for a lot of people, and it’s probably made a lot of people look themselves in the mirror and figure out who they are and what they’ve been running from or what they’ve been putting off in their lives,” Colton said.
“And, for me, I’ve ran from myself for a long time — I’ve hated myself for a long time.”
“I’m gay, and I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it,” the former Bachelor continued. “The next step in all of this was letting people know. I’m still nervous, but yeah, it’s been a journey for sure.”
Colton then revealed the moment he realized he had to speak his truth.
“I got into a place for me in my personal life that was dark and bad. I can list a bunch of different things, but they’d all be excuses. But I think overall, the reason why now is because I got a place where I didn’t think I was ever going to share this. I would’ve rather died than say ‘I’m gay,’” he said. “And I think that was sort of my wakeup call.”
“Yeah. There was a moment in L.A. that I woke up and I didn’t think I was going to wake up. I didn’t have the intentions of waking up, and I did. And I think for me, that was my wake-up call of like, ‘This is your life. Take back control.’” “I think looking back even beyond that is like, even just suicidal thoughts… when driving my car close to a cliff and [thinking], ‘Oh, if this goes too close to the cliff, it’s not that big of a deal.’ I don’t feel that anymore,” he said.
He talked about the time when he realised he’s gay.
I’ve known that I’ve been different since the age of six, and I couldn’t process it and put my finger on it until high school, my freshman year, when I knew I was gay.
Colton also apologised to Cassie Randolph.
“I’d like to say sorry for how things ended. I messed up. I made a lot of bad choices,” he said, adding that he was indeed in love with her. “That made it harder and more confusing for me. If I’m being honest, I loved everything about her and it’s hard for me to articulate exactly what my emotions were in going through that relationship with her was, because I obviously had an internal fight going on. I would just say that I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry for the pain and emotional stress I caused. I wish it wouldn’t have happened the way it did.” Colton says that he used to pray to god and thanked him for making him “straight” when he was cast as The Bachelor.
Colton said that he is “the happiest and healthiest” he’s felt in his life.
“I’m still the same Colton everybody met on TV. I’m still the same Colton to my friends and my family, I just happen to be able to share with people now all of me,” he said. “And I am proud of that, you know? I am proud to be gay.”