Becca Kufrin is finally opening up about her heartbreaking break up with Arie Luyendyk Jr.
“He’s a good person, I don’t think he’s a monster and purposely did this to hurt me and make me feel this way. But it’s just the result of his actions,” Becca tells PEOPLE. “At the end of the day, I don’t think he thought through everything of how ending things with Lauren would be, how being engaged to me would be and what breaking up with me and going back to her would be. I don’t think he thought it through, but I don’t think he did it maliciously to break my heart.”
About the day of the final rose ceremony in Peru.
“That morning, I woke up and I was very oddly calm. I just felt it in my heart. I just knew it was me — that him and I were going to be together. There were still nerves, but I never was too anxious or worked up about it because I just felt it was right with us.”
When Arie got down on one knee and proposed to her.
“I felt like my heart was going to burst because it was just so filled with love to be with him and share that news with our friends and family. There was so much excitement and joy. It was an overabundance. I never thought for a million years that once the going started to get tough that he would throw in the towel and jump ship and say, ‘Oh sorry, I changed my mind.’ I didn’t think we were at that point whatsoever.”
After having a conversation with Lauren, Arie decided to call off his engagement with Becca, with cameras in tow during a Happy couples weekend.
“I thought we were just going to have a nice romantic weekend. The night before he had turned off his phone, which I thought was strange, and it wasn’t until the moment when he walked into the house when he didn’t have his suitcases with him, I was like What’s going on? It was embarrassing the way he broke up with me with the full cameras and crew around.
There was a better and more tactful way to do it. A breakup is hard enough, and to have it all filmed and have to re-watch it and know that people all across the country are watching you get your heart broken, it is embarrassing. It’s not fun. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It was like a slap in the face.
I wish he would have been more honest with me. From the questions I was asking, I would have appreciated the full truth. I was obviously blindsided like, Did I miss something? I was asking you these things and you didn’t tell me. What did I miss? How could I have not seen any of this to the extent of how it played out?
At one point I asked him if he wanted to make it work with Lauren and his response was, ‘Yeah I want to try.’ So in that instance I knew. I knew at that point, okay I’m sure he’s going to try to make up for lost time and he’ll probably go there soon to make it work and to reconcile with her,” she says.